Kazoku
by Drunken Boxer
Summary: AU Human Turtles. Kazoku, Japanese for family. The Hamato brothers' bonds have never been tested to such an extreme before now. How will they deal with the challenges they face? By being family, of course. Finally a bit of backstory to my human universe.
1. Chapter the First

**Disclaimer**: Lack of ownership of the Turtles (er, the humans in this case), I have.

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><p>Michelangelo was beyond fretful. The twelve-year-old hadn't been able to hold down food for days, and he clung incessantly to his older brothers, always trying to cuddle up to them when they were sitting on the couch or joining them in their beds at night.<p>

"Donnie, can't you give him _something_?" Raphael asked desperately, but quietly as Michelangelo shifted restlessly in his arms. "I'm goin' crazy over here!"

"He's got the flu," Donatello said from where he sat cross-legged on the kitchen counter. "He just has to wait it out."

Raph grumbled under his breath, but didn't push Mikey away, knowing that would only result in tears from the younger. "One of these days I'm going to watch TV in peace."

Leonardo entered the apartment, looking totally unsurprised to see Michelangelo curled in a tight ball with his head on Raphael's lap, the conscious brother absently stroking his hair. "How's he doing?" he asked as he toed off his shoes.

Donnie chuckled, "Raph or Mikey?"

Leo smirked, "Both?"

"Mikey's been throwing up all morning but we're trying to keep him hydrated. And Raph seems to be Mikey's pillow of choice today; it's driving him up the wall."

"Not literally?" Leo joked.

"Of course not literally, you twit!" Raph exclaimed from his couch prison, his recent stress clearly showing.

Unfortunately for Raph, his outburst woke the slumbering boy, who jerked up and immediately looked around for his brothers. Upon realizing he was sitting adjacent to Raph, Mikey's panic ceased and Raphael took advantage of his temporary calm and bolted off the couch. Raph came to a stop by Donnie just as Mikey's sluggish brain computed the loss of his brother. The three oldest Hamatos saw the coming onslaught of tears, so Leo quickly moved to stave it off.

"Come here baby," he soothed Mikey, lifting him over the back of the couch. Michelangelo leaned into the offered comfort, stifling a sob in Leo's chest.

"I don't feel so good," he mumbled.

Leo lifted Mikey's face out of his chest and touched a hand to the sick boy's forehead. Mikey was worryingly pale underneath the deep red flush covering his cheeks. Leo frowned at the sheer amount of heat radiating from his forehead and his glassy, unfocused eyes. "Want some juice?" he offered hopefully as he gently rubbed Mikey's cheek.

Mikey just shook his head, sneezed, and squirmed once more into Leo's chest, tears slowly dripping down his face, wetting Leo's shirt slightly. Leonardo sighed and walked over to the twins who were watching the exchange. "He's lost weight," he said to them, unable to keep the concern out of his voice.

They both nodded, having held Mikey on more than one occasion in the past few days. "He doesn't want to eat," Donnie confirmed.

"Not only that," Raph added, "but he can't really keep it down. I don't blame him for not wanting food."

Leonardo wrinkled his nose, an odd little habit he had when he was worried or frustrated. Michelangelo wasn't quite underweight, but he was definitely on the smaller side and tended to drop weight quickly when he wasn't eating. "Can you hand me a wet cloth please, Don?"

Donatello crawled nimbly over to the sink and soaked a spare washcloth before passing it over to Leonardo.

"Must you sit on the counters?" Leo asked mildly as he quickly swiped Mike's lower back and settled the cloth on the back of his neck. Michelangelo shivered once, but only sighed and remained quiet.

"Yes," Donnie answered simply. The genius suddenly dropped his head on Raphael's shoulder. "Tired, Raphie," he whined.

Raphael glanced down at his twin in surprise. "Tired?" he asked. "You never get tired. You're always wired on coffee!"

Donatello just repeated, "Tired."

Raph pulled away and cupped Donnie's chin with his large hand. "You feelin' okay, bro?" He peered into his twin's face, concern filling hazel eyes as he took in the dark circles under Don's slightly red eyes.

Donnie blinked slowly and nodded.

"You don't feel warm. Why don't you take a nap or somethin'?"

Donnie nodded again and without warning clambered onto Raphael's back, long limbs wrapped securely around his brother, head replaced on Raph's shoulder.

"Hey! What the heck are you doin', Donnie?" Raph yelped, trying to regain his balance without throwing his brother off or bumping into Leo and Mike. .

Donatello mumbled a response in Japanese, something akin to, "You're taking me to bed." All the Hamato boys spoke fluent Japanese, but Donatello was the one most likely to slip into the language by accident. He claimed to think clearer in Japanese rather than English and sometimes forgot to switch back when speaking.

Raphael glanced at Leo, who still had Mikey clutched in his arms. "Put them together?" he suggested to his older brother.

Leo nodded. "Donnie will keep Mikey quiet, and can take care of him if something happens. And Don needs to sleep more anyways. With Mikey being so ill on top of all his other work, he's just exhausted."

Raphael and Leonardo walked their brothers into the twins' room. Raph dumped Donnie unceremoniously onto his bed, the massively sleep-deprived twin fumbling with the blankets. Once Donatello was situated, Leonardo carefully loosened Michelangelo's grip on his neck and slid him next to Donnie. Donatello's arms tightened around his baby brother as Mikey blearily squirmed closer, moaning quietly when his stomach cramped again. Raphael took the washcloth from Michelangelo's neck and placed it on his hot forehead while Leonardo returned to the kitchen to get two cups of water. Leo left both cups on the nightstand, optimistically thinking Donnie would be able to coax Mikey into consuming at least _some _liquid.

"I hope Donnie doesn't catch the flu," Leo worried, running a hand through each of his dozing brothers' hair.

"Nah," Raph said dismissively. "He looks a little rough 'round the edges, but Donnie rarely gets sick. Dunno why; he doesn't sleep."

"Suppose he won the genetic lottery."

Raphael quirked an eyebrow at his eldest brother. "That's saying Mikey lost the genetic lottery."

A resigned smile appeared on Leo's face. "He did." Raph looked somewhat alarmed Leo would say such a thing until he continued, "Well, as far as his immune system goes. Think about it: how often does he get sick? And it's usually not just a cold that he can shake off in a day."

Raph sighed, knowing Leo was right. He glanced at his older brother, noting the worry lines around Leo's eyes. "Mikey'll be fine," he said firmly, escorting Leonardo out of the room. "And so will Donnie."

"What about you, Raph?"

Raphael gave a crooked smile. "I got my brothers," he stated simply.

Some of the ample tension flowed out of Leo's body upon hearing Raph's response. He slung an arm around Raphael's shoulders as they walked back into the living room. "Me too, Raph. Me too." 

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><p>My first chapter fic! You guys will make a real author out of me yet. Let me know what you think. And, for the first time ever, there's a guarantee of more to come...woo!<p> 


	2. Chapter the Second

**Disclaimer**: The turtles/humans are not mine, I'm merely playing in their sewer (Ew. Probably should have thought that analogy through a bit better.).

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><p>"Quit it, Donnie!" Raphael all but snarled, swiping at his brother's hand.<p>

"Raph! You know that's going to swell shut if you don't put some ice on it!" Donatello retorted angrily.

"Does it look like I care?"

"Of course not! You _never _care! You just blow up and act without thinking, totally heedless of the consequences! And look where that's got you!" Donnie exploded, gesturing rather violently to Raphael's black eye and split lip.

A deadly calm seem to pass through Raph and he gazed steadily into Donnie's face with his one good eye. "You weren't there," he said coldly. "You didn't hear what that...that _jerk _was sayin'."

The blood drained from Donatello's face. His hands that were trying to press a bag of ice to Raphael's eye dropped into his lap. "You're right," he whispered, "I wasn't there. I should have been there."

"Ah Donnie," Raphael sighed, finally taking the ice from his brother and pressing it gingerly onto his sore face, cursing under his breath. "That's not what I meant."

"What did he say, Raph?" Donatello asked quietly.

Raphael frowned. "Don," he said slowly, "you don't want to know. You won't like it and you can't _un-_hear it once you know."

Donatello shot his brother a wry look. "What, you think I believe the guy at school said something _good_? After the beating you gave him?" He snorted, "As if. Look Raph, I don't need you to protect me from the world and its cruel inhabitants."

Before Raphael could respond, Leonardo walked into the living room. "I just got off the phone with the principal," he said to Raphael.

Raph cringed and steeled himself for the inevitable lecture. "You're suspended for the rest of the week," Leo informed his brother, "for fighting."

A silent nod.

Leo continued, "However, I did explain _why _you were fighting, and he understands." He dropped onto the couch next to Raphael. "Though I can't say I condone resorting to violence to settle matters, especially considering how we were raised, I'm very proud of you for defending your family, Raphael."

Raph looked up quickly into his brother's dark eyes. Leo was gazing calmly, _proudly _at him. Relief swept through Raph's body and he sunk back against the cushions with a huge sigh. Raphael knew Leonardo understood, but having him say that in front of Donnie - who was less likely to accept fighting as an answer - validated his actions. He chuckled slightly. "I was so sure I was going to get the lecture of a lifetime," he admitted weakly.

Leo reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "Not this time, bro. Though we will be having more words about this whole ordeal." The eldest glanced around uncertainly. "Where's Mikey?" he asked no one in particular.

"On the roof," Donatello said. "He needed some breathing space."

Leo's eyes widened. "But it's raining!"

Donnie's head whipped towards the window. Sure enough, it was raining. He groaned, knowing this situation wouldn't end well. "I'll go get him," Don said, getting smoothly to his feet. "Keep that ice on for ten more minutes, then twenty minutes off," he told Raph.

Raphael waved a hand in acknowledgement, then Leo captured his attention once more.

Donatello climbed stealthily onto the roof from the fire escape and stood for a minute, observing Michelangelo.

Michelangelo was sitting on the edge of the roof, not even wearing a sweatshirt, legs dangling over the side. Based on his slumped posture, Donatello judged him to be fairly upset. Michelangelo probably wasn't even aware it was raining, prone as he was to get caught up in his thoughts. Donnie walked over to his blond brother, taking care to make some noise so he wouldn't frighten Mikey into falling off the roof. "Mikey," Donnie called softly once he was close enough, "I think it's time to go inside."

Michelangelo turned to face him and Donnie's heart clenched. Mikey had clearly been crying; his eyes and nose were both red. Donatello wordlessly opened his arms and Mikey practically flew into them, sobbing. Donnie gripped his brother tightly for a few moments, then pulled away to look at him. Mikey had calmed down a bit, his sobs reduced to sniffles though tears were still dripping freely down his cheeks, mingling with the rainwater.

"I...I miss him," Mikey choked out. Donatello's stomach dropped when he heard the admission, his own body starting to shake slightly.

"I know," Donnie said sympathetically, tears filling his own eyes. "I do too." Donatello heaved a shuddering sigh. "You're freezing," he said to Mikey, regaining control of himself by letting the medic in him take over. He rubbed the youngest's arms, hoping to get some warmth back into him.

Mikey just sneezed. Donnie rolled his eyes, knowing how quickly Michelangelo fell sick and resigned to what was to come in the next few days. He pushed his brother's hair out of his face, making a mental note to take him to get it cut soon, and tried to get a preliminary feel of his temperature. Unfortunately, Donatello's hands were far too cold at this point to feel much of anything. "Come on, let's get you warm," he said, leading Michelangelo down the fire escape.

The brothers reentered the apartment to find Raphael and Leonardo sitting red-eyed and sniffling on the couch. Donatello immediately moved forward in concern, but Leonardo waved him off, signaling to instead take care of Michelangelo, who was sneezing and shivering and looking altogether miserable.

"Hot shower and pajamas," Donnie directed, giving Mikey a small push towards the bathroom. "Then you can come back out and have a hot drink." Michelangelo needed no further encouragement and hastened to the bathroom, stripping off his sopping wet shirt in the process and leaving a small trail of water in his wake. Donnie just shook his head and wandered a bit dazedly into his own room to change out of his wet clothes. Once dressed in warm pajamas, he grabbed a couple blankets and joined his brothers on the couch.

Donatello handed his twin a blanket, which was quickly used to cover all the sitting boys. Raphael looked like he was struggling to maintain his composure, and Leo's hand on the back of his neck wasn't doing him any favors. "It's okay to grieve, Raph," Leo said softly, giving his younger brother a light squeeze. Tears he thought he had long run out of rolled more rapidly down Raphael's cheeks.

"It ain't fair," he muttered, anger and sorrow mixing in his voice.

"It's not," Donnie agreed, leaning into the larger twin's side and drawing the blanket up over his chin.

Raph bent down to lightly bump his cheek to the top of Donnie's head. "All right, bro? You look a little punch drunk."

Donatello trembled once, an action that did not go unnoticed by his ever watchful brothers, and nodded silently.

"How's Mikey?" Leo asked, hand never losing contact with Raphael.

"He'll be sick by morning," Donatello replied unhappily, voice muffled by the quilt.

"Fantastic."

"Maybe I should take the week off from school," Don offered. "Raph isn't going, and Mikey won't be well enough."

Leonardo raised an eyebrow in his direction. "You sound like you're hoping I'll say yes."

A self-conscious shrug. "It might be nice to spend more time together," he justified, "in light of all that's happened."

"Up to you," Leo said. "Even though you missed last week too, it's not like you won't be able to catch up all your work."

Donatello smiled gratefully. "Thanks, bro."

"But be prepared to deal with this one," Leo tilted his head towards Donnie's twin, "and Mikey when they come asking for your help."

Just then, Michelangelo returned to the living room, blond hair still damp from his shower, but dressed in a warm orange sweatshirt that served to hide most of his residual shivers. None of his brothers believed he was warm enough for a second given his white face. Mikey stood for a moment in front of the couch, eyeing his brothers while trying to decide on the most strategic position in which to plant himself. Donatello solved that problem for him. "Sit here," he said, gracefully extricating himself from the blanket and getting off the couch. "I pre-warmed it for you, and Raph gives off the most heat."

Mikey thankfully took Donnie's place, snuggling deeply into his brother as Raphael stroked his hair, evoking a small whimper from the boy. Donatello ambled wordlessly into the kitchen. A kettle of boiling water and six minutes later, he strolled back out holding a tray with four steaming mugs.

"Hot chocolate?" Mikey asked hopefully with a small snuffle, sitting up.

"Hot chocolate," Donnie confirmed, passing out the mugs before squashing Mikey closer to Raph in order to claim space on the couch. .

The Hamato boys sipped their drinks in relative silence, drawing comfort from the simple act of being together. Soon Mikey's head was drooping onto Raph's shoulder, cheeks already flushing true to Donnie's prediction. Leo collected the empty mugs and left them on the counter to wash in the morning. None of the brothers moved to climb into their own beds, instead opting to remain nestled on the couch until the morning sun woke them.

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><p>Thanks for all your encouragement and support! Aside from family fluffies, I know not much has happened in this story, nor does it seem to make much sense, but I promise it'll become clearer as it progresses. Again, multi-chapter stories with actual plot and new genres (which <em>are<em> coming) are not my forte, so any suggestions/critiques/comments are welcome. Cheers for reading, and stay tuned!


	3. Chapter the Third

**Disclaimer**: Just playin' in their sewers.

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><p>"Where've you been, Hamato?"<p>

Raphael whirled around to face the sneering blond, eyes narrowing. He had never gotten along with Alan. They were always at odds with each other, making a competition out of everything. Alan was generally the instigator, but Raph wasn't one to back down from a fight, verbal or otherwise.

"None of your business," Raphael said gruffly, turning away from Alan and continuing on to where Leo was picking him up after school.

"Your whole family's been missin'," Alan called after him. "Your nerdy twin, and that little boy toy you call your brother."

Raphael stiffened almost imperceptibly. If there was one thing he hated more than all the other things he hated, it was someone insulting his family.

Alan continued his mocking tirade, "Heard your dad's gone, _Raphael_. I guess that means _you _get the blond as your bed warmer now? Or does he go to the oldest first?"

A tremor of rage shook Raphael's body, but the years of discipline under his father's and then Leo's tutelage prevented him from acting. So far. He kept moving towards Leo's car, steps more of a stomp than a walk. Alan followed.

"What's his name? Mickey? Michael? He looks like a screamer. But you probably like a little noise, don't you? You seem like the type who likes 'em tied down. Maybe double teaming him with your twin. Bet your old man taught you a thing or two. Made you watch?" Alan had caught up to Raphael, and leaned in to whisper viciously, "I bet you enjoyed that."

White hatred practically blinded Raphael. All rational thought fled from his mind as he jerked himself away from Alan, pulled back, and with all his considerable strength punched him in the face. "What the hell do you know?" Raphael roared. "You have no freakin' idea what the hell you're talkin' about!" Alan staggered away, cursing, but wasn't finished yet.

"Is that how your dad showed you discipline?" he threw out thickly through a bleeding nose.

Raphael called Alan some impressively filthy names in Japanese, and though Alan didn't have a clue what Raph was actually saying, he still got the gist. He charged angrily at Raphael, who neatly sidestepped the assault and flipped the other teenager over his shoulder. Alan landed hard, but still managed to suppress the evolutionary instinct to flee and got gamely - if foolishly - to his feet.

"Why so angry, Raphie? Why so upset? Daddy hurt you at home so you take it out on everyone else?"

The stress and pressure that had been building in Raphael over the past week reached boiling point. In his head he knew he could easily incapacitate Alan with flawless ninjitsu, but his heart wanted an all out brawl. He wanted to come away from a dirty street fight bleeding and bruised, but clearly, absolutely victorious. Raphael unconsciously slid into a fighting stance, savagely awaiting the inevitable second attempt at harming him.

The next few minutes were a blur. Raphael was not the quickest of his brothers, but he moved with a sure grace that appeared to contradict his size. His movements were fluid and confident; not an iota of effort was wasted. Alan was obviously no match for Raphael. Hell, _Mikey _would have put up a better fight and he was twelve years old, though granted, he was also a trained ninja. Alan managed to get in a couple punches to Raphael's face and ribs, but only because Raph let him. He _wanted _the pain, needed the hurt. On a subconscious level, Raphael's body wanted to hurt as much as his heart, to bring his whole being back into balance.

As quickly as Raph had thrown the first punch, the brawl was over. Alan was lying out cold on the cement ground, Raph standing over him, breathing hard, fists still tightly clenched. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw teachers hurrying towards them. He spun around and sprinted towards Leo's car.

Donnie was at his lectures at NYU and would pick Mikey up by bus later, so Leonardo only had to collect one brother today. Leo looked up at the sound of feet pounding on the pavement. He immediately threw open the door and let Raphael slide into the car. Leo had rarely seen Raph so upset. The twin's breathing was fast and shallow, blood was dripping from his lip and nose, and his left eye was already starting to blacken. But it wasn't the physical injuries that caught Leonardo's attention. It was the utter anguish painted on Raphael's features.

"Raph..." Leo started.

"Drive Leo," Raphael gasped, cutting him off. "Just drive. Please."

Without another word, Leo did just that.

The car ride was silent save for Raphael's panting breaths. When they pulled into their apartment's parking structure, Leonardo stopped the car and shifted in his seat to face his younger brother.

"Raph."

Raph swiped roughly at his eyes. When had he started crying?

"Raphael," Leo repeated, worry growing steadily. He reached out to grip Raph's arm, and as soon as he made contact, the dam broke. Raphael gave a strangled, heaving sob, tears leaking down his face. Leo's heart ached with compassion and he silently supported his brother as he furiously struggled to calm down.

"What happened, Raph?" Leo asked softly in Japanese. Hearing the language of their father only served to send another stab of pain through Raph's gut even as he appreciated the comfort and familiarity it brought.

"Guy at school," Raphael managed, also switching to Japanese, "sayin' stuff about Mikey, about us...about _Dad_..."

Leonardo breathed out angrily through his nose, but made no remark, instead allowing Raphael to continue.

"Just stupid stuff, but I..." he choked back another sob. "Couldn't take it, Leo. The stuff the idiot was sayin', it was jus'...jus'...so far from the truth that I couldn't stand to _not _correct him."

"With your fists?" Leo asked dryly.

A small nod. "I'm not ashamed of what I did."

"Would Father be?" was the quiet response.

Sorrow and anger flashed in Raph's wet eyes. "I don't know," he said in an irritated whisper.

"You do know, Raph," Leonardo said, still in Japanese. "You know Father."

"No, I don't! Not like you!" Raphael thundered. "I don't know him like you, Leo! I'm not his perfect student, his perfect _son_. I'm not a genius like Donnie, I'm not the baby like Mikey, and I'm not perfect like you! I'm just his second-rate son who always gets in fights and doesn't live up to his expectations!"

Leo had gone very still.

Raphael took advantage of his silence and went on, "You're his perfect student, always practicin' and masterin' everything he taught us. You're the oldest son, so you carry the family name and honor. Dad looked to you to keep us in line because he knew you could; he respected you. Donnie's brilliant and it was so obvious how proud of him Dad was, always askin' him what he was learnin' or doin' even if he didn't have a clue what Don was sayin'. And Mikey...Mikey's his baby. Happy and loving, and Dad was so...so _willing _to show how much he cared for Mikey, not just by sayin' it but by what he did, too. And me? I'm just the one he glossed over. There's nothin' about me that would make him proud..."

Raphael trailed off, breaths coming in shallow pants, tears still dripping down his face.

Leonardo shook himself out of his utter shock. _Is that what Raph really thinks? Is that how he really feels?_

Leo reached over and firmly pushed Raphael's head between his knees. "Calm down, bro," he soothed. "Take slow, deep breaths."

Raphael tried, but he was too caught up in his whirlwind of emotions. His world tilted dangerously and he gave in to the shifting, slumping sideways into the car door.

"Raph!" Leo cried. "Relax little brother, you're hyperventilating. Take a deep breath and hold it. That's it, I gotcha," His hand found Raphael's neck and he slowly started to massage the tense muscles. Leo knew it was Raph's favorite comfort spot and his ragged breathing immediately started to slow. "Oh, Raphael..." Leo sighed, heart aching for his brother. "Father loved all of us. He loved _you_. He loved that you're such a passionate person, that you stood up for all of us when we were afraid to do it ourselves. He loved how you pushed yourself so hard to do better, to be better. And more than any of that, more than anything you could ever do, he loved you because you're his _son_.

"You know that deep down, I know you do. Your head may say one thing, make you think and believe that Father loved you less, that you're second rate, but in your heart you _know _he loved you just as much."

A moment of heavy silence passed, in which Leo was unsure whether Raph would blow up at him for presuming to know how their father felt or if he would accept the comforting words.

"How can you stand it?" Raph asked hoarsely.

Leonardo blinked, a bit blindsided by the non sequitur, but he quickly caught on. "I have you guys."

Raphael glanced at him, clearly expecting his brother to continue. And he did. "All of you remind me that even though Father's gone, he's still with us. I see him in Mikey's hope and laughter, in Donnie's humble brilliance, in your loyalty and passion. He's taught us so many things that I can almost feel him when I'm with you guys."

A small smile quirked Raphael's lips. "He lives in us?"

Leo snorted. "The Lion King? Really, Raph? But yes, essentially. He does."

"It's not the same."

"Of course it's not the same, Raph," Leo said sadly. "It'll never be the same, but eventually it'll be okay." A beat of silence. "Mikey's been in my bed almost every night this week, and when he isn't he's probably in yours," Leo admitted. "More often than not he just cries until he falls asleep again. I'm afraid he's going to make himself sick on top of everything else. He doesn't sleep well, doesn't want to eat. He's hardly ever not with one of us. It's almost like he's afraid that we'll disappear if he isn't constantly watching.

"And Donnie, I know he's been having nightmares, don't deny it. He's been so jumpy and overly tired. And you, Raph. I just...I wish you'd let yourself grieve. You don't have to be strong for us; you don't have to keep everything to yourself. I know - _we _know - that it's killing you on the inside, just as much as it hurts us.

"I hate it, but at the same time I don't, I can't. I hate what's happened, how it's tearing you and Don and Mikey apart. But at the same time, it reminds me how much we need each other, and from that need, that knowledge that I'm to look after the family now, I find the strength to do it. And I think that's what Father would have wanted. He wouldn't want us to simply fall apart because he's not here."

"It's so damn hard," Raphael muttered.

Leo squeezed his neck again. "It is," he readily agreed, "but Hamatos have never been known to back down from a challenge, and you, Hamato Raphael, will not let this destroy you."

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><p>Apologies for the long gaps in between updates, but thank you very much for all your comments!<p>

Is the story making at least a little more sense? Please let me know what you think about this chapter. I felt a bit weird about writing the stuff that Alan said, both because of its content and the attitude behind it. I'm trying to grow and expand as an author, and feedback promotes that growth!

Hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned for the next chapter!


	4. Chapter the Fourth

**Disclaimer**: In the couple months between updates, I have gained ownership of the Turtles. Yay! Any believers?

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><p>Donatello strolled into the apartment, humming as he kicked off his shoes. It had been a good day. His college lectures finished early, allowing him to come home before rush hour, and he had received top marks on his fluid mechanics midterm exam. He fairly bounced to the kitchen, dropped his bag on the counter, and turned towards the fridge, intent on getting a drink.<p>

"Donatello."

Donnie started violently, almost dropping the bottle he was holding. He whirled around. "Cripes! Leo!" he gasped, clutching his heart. "Don't do that. You gotta...gotta make some noise or something."

"Sorry," Leonardo said distractedly from the couch.

Donatello easily accepted the apology as he felt his heart rate return to normal. Startling each other had been a common occurrence growing up, and Leo had always been particularly talented in that area. "What are you doing home already?" he asked. "I expected to be the only one here until Raph picked up Mikey."

Leonardo swallowed and patted the couch next to him. "Come here, Donnie," he said quietly.

Hesitantly, Donatello sat down next to his older brother. "Bro?"

Leonardo was pale and appeared to be full of what Donnie could only classify as nervous energy, though his movements were unusually slow, as if each one took tremendous effort. All of Donatello's senses started tingling though he couldn't pinpoint why. His thoughts began to race without any direction, jumping from idea to idea with the speed only a genius could achieve. His body trembled and he was merciless to stop it. "Leo?" he whispered.

With a monumental effort, Leo met Donnie's eyes. "Donatello...there's something I need to tell you."

Donnie's breathing quickened, every fiber of his being screaming that something was not right. His thoughts flashed, _Mikey. Raph. Father. ...Leo?_ Unable to find his voice, he swallowed hard and nodded for Leonardo to continue.

"This...this morning, at the dojo," Leo started, voice tight, "Father collapsed. The...the doctors or paramedics or whatever said it was a b-brain aneurysm." Leonardo's breath caught, "H-h-he didn't suffer..."

Donatello's thoughts screeched to a halt. His mind could only focus on one word: aneurysm. His face paled dramatically.

Automatically, abruptly, he rose from the couch. "No," was all he said, before fleeing to his room and slamming the door behind him.

Leonardo blinked uncomprehendingly. He let out a shuddering sigh, drew his knees up to his chest on the couch, and wept.

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><p>Donatello threw himself face down on his bed and let out a wordless cry of sorrow into his pillow. <em>It couldn't be true, it just couldn't!<em> he thought frantically. But he was a realist at heart, and he knew that Leonardo would never, ever joke about something this serious.

Tears came unbidden to his eyes, prickling madly as the reality of the situation began to sink in. Thoughts flicked madly through his head. _Father's...gone. What are we going to do? Will Leo be able to get guardianship over us? Oh God, how do we tell Raph and Mikey? A world without Father..._

Donatello's heart dropped into his stomach at the absurdity of life without their father.

For fifteen minutes, he lay on his bed, unmoving, unthinking. What could he do? Suddenly he sat bolt upright. "Leo!" he said out loud. He had left his brother sitting on the couch. Alone. Whatever Donnie was feeling must be orders of magnitudes worse for his brother, who, as the eldest, now had the responsibility for the family upon his young shoulders.

Donnie wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, took a deep breath, and walked back out to the living room.

Leonardo was still on the sofa, tears slowly streaming down his white face. Donnie sat down next to his brother and cuddled into his side, belying his fifteen years. Leonardo looked momentarily lost, then released a quiet, broken sob and threw his arms around his younger brother.

"Sorry I left earlier," Donnie mumbled quietly. "I just..."

"Shh," Leo said through his tears, "I understand. Don't worry about it."

Donnie began trembling uncontrollably in his brother's arms as the reality of the situation hit him further. His head felt very light and all the colors seemed to be too bright and slightly blurred. He struggled to focus on Leonardo, whose normally composed face looked close to panicking.

"Don? Donnie, honey? You okay?" Leo asked, pulling his distraught little brother closer, as if he could will away whatever was ailing him. "You're shaking like a leaf, and you're very pale." Leonardo lifted a hand to lightly stroke Donnie's cheek, which was almost cold to the touch.

Donatello blinked at the term of endearment usually reserved for Michelangelo. Leo only called Donnie "honey" when he was really ill...or when Leo was worried about him, Donatello realized with a jolt. _I must looked as bad as I feel_, he thought ruefully. The younger brother gave a hitching shudder and buried his face in Leo's shoulder.

They sat together, each crying wordlessly. Leo's heart was immensely heavy with the newly placed burden of taking care of his family, their family. The fear and anxiety of telling Michelangelo and Raphael was slowly eating away at him.

"Did...did you see it happen?" Donatello asked seriously, hoping with all his heart that Leonardo wasn't a witness to the tragedy.

"No," Leo whispered, rubbing slow circles on Donatello's back, whose lanky frame was still trembling slightly. "I was in the other room, with the kids' classes. I ran in when I heard the shouting, but the other instructors wouldn't let me get close enough to really see anything."

Donnie breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that Leo wouldn't have that particular scar on his soul. "You do know there's nothing you could have done," he said, knowing that Leonardo was likely feeling guilty that he wasn't right by Father's side. "You didn't fail Dad in any way. Brain aneurysms are pretty much instant."

"I know," Leonardo said lowly. "But I still wish...I wish it had been different."

"Of course you wish that," Donnie said, snorting softly. "But the fact is, this is what happened."

A few moments of silence as both brothers contemplated their new position.

"How are you feeling?" Donatello asked.

"Shocked really. Everything happened so fast. You?"

"About the same."

More silence.

"Are...are you all right?" Donnie winced at the stupidity of the question. "I mean, you've probably thought about all the consequences already, but this is...I don't know, a lot of stuff for a recently turned twenty-year-old to deal with."

"Yeah," Leo agreed. "I don't think it's all hit me yet. I know that in light of Father's passing I'm now head of the family. I'm responsible for you guys and your well being, and also for providing for your needs and all this other stuff that I never really had to think about before. But it's so surreal that I can't quite wrap my head around it. It's bizarre."

Donnie nodded into Leo's side. "I'm afraid," he admitted.

"Me too. I'm absolutely terrified." Leo bent his head down to kiss the top of Donnie's. "Geez Don, you're freezing cold. I feel like you're going to pass out at any moment."

Donatello shook his head and curled even closer to Leonardo, who absently started stroking his hair, a gesture all the Hamato boys found calming. Donnie suspected the action brought Leo just as much comfort as it brought him. "Leo, even though you're now head of the family and you carry the honor and responsibility and all that jazz, we're here to share the burden," he said without preamble.

Leo's breath caught in his chest. He shouldn't have been surprised; Donatello was incredibly perceptive and had a keen eye into how his brothers were feeling and what bothersome thoughts were going through their heads. Donnie continued, "You're not the only Hamato. You aren't alone and you don't have to do everything by yourself. Let us help you."

Relief trickled into Leonardo's body. Thank God for Donnie's realism and rationality. In a few sentences he had pinpointed the root of all the anxiety regarding the future that was crashing upon Leo in waves and spoken the words that Leo needed to hear most. He wasn't alone, he didn't have to do it all.

Leonardo and Donatello sat side by side on the couch in silence, each caught up in his own thoughts. Both were startled by the sound of a key turning in the lock.

"Why's it so dark in here?" Raphael's voice filtered into the apartment.

Michelangelo flamboyantly flipped on the light switch with his ninja toes, revealing Leo and Don on the couch. As much as they tried to appear normal, Mikey's usually cheerful face settled into a concerned frown as he gazed at his brothers. Curse his intuition, Leo thought sadly.

Raphael as well could feel that something was off. His twin was obviously tense about something, and if that wasn't enough, Donnie was trembling, a dead giveaway that he was distressed. "What's going on?" he asked slowly, eyes flicking between his two brothers.

Leo took a deep breath, trying to calm his already frayed nerves, veritable waves of anxiety rolling off him. He felt Donatello's icy hand squeeze his own, and he gripped Donnie's like a lifeline.

"Raphael, Michelangelo...there's something we need to talk about..."

* * *

><p>Thanks for all your amazing reviews and inspiration to write! And again, many apologies for the long delay between chapters. I'd offer a reason, but I doubt anyone wants to hear about my personal life and why I had no free time. Anyways.<p>

I hope you've enjoyed this little story of mine, and that you're not too disappointed with how it's ended. Could you tell the story went in reverse chronological order? New genres, situations, and emotions were at play, so any suggestions to improve my writing would be appreciated. I hope to have more stories up and coming, so keep an eye out! Thanks again, friends! Couldn't have done this without all your encouragement!


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